Here are mine.
10. Writing isn't a real job.
9. Did you go to school for that?
8. Are you done [writing whatever you're working on] yet?
7. Writing isn't that hard. I could do it, if I had time.
6. Will you read my _______________ (short story, poem, novella, novel, nonfiction book, screenplay) and tell me what you think?
5. I had a great idea for a story, but I don't have time to write it. If I give you the idea, will you write the story and credit me?
4. Why would you decide to make a career out of your high school English class?
3. Are you published yet?
2. Since you're home all day anyway, would you mind ______________ (picking up my mail, watering my flowers, walking my dog, etc.) ...?
1. Have I read anything you've written?
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Can anybody else relate? What things drive you nuts to hear about your writing? What witty comebacks have you devised to help you survive such interactions?